NLP

134 MATCHSTICKS

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

Let go of fear and outdated patterns to live the life you want to live

Therapeutic Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) may be for you if you find yourself repeating unwanted patterns of behaviour, emotional responses or getting unwanted results in any area of your life, including:

  • Money/finances
  • Business/career
  • Relationships
  • Family
  • Emotions
  • Health
  • Confidence
  • Life changes

NLP works to get to the root cause of the unwanted pattern and release the safety/fear-based neurology that keeps the block or unwanted pattern stuck.


How do we get stuck in life? Where do our subconscious patterns

come from?

There are two things that keep you stuck in life – safety/fear-based patterning, and love and loyalty to your biological family.

Therapeutic NLP works with releasing the safety/fear-based patterning that keeps you stuck (see our Constellations services to address the love and loyalty issues relating to your family).

The safety/fear-based patterning often stems from childhood experiences, generally between the ages of 0-7 years old.

1. We experience an event/incident

You experience an incident as a 0-7 year old (and more often as a 0-3 years old), – for example, your parents fighting; being laughed at at school; falling off a bike and breaking an arm

2. Beliefs become our identity

You interpret the incident using 0-7 year old understanding, creating a story in your mind which you tell yourself over and over again, which become your limiting beliefs (I’m not worthy; it’s my fault things go wrong; I can’t have what I want; I’m alone; I can’t trust others; I don’t belong; I’m not lovable) and ultimately your core limiting beliefs become your IDENTITY.

From that moment on, your identity becomes your story (for example) “I’m not lovable” and so you create experiences to prove to yourself that you’re not lovable (e.g. put up walls and push people away and say to yourself “See, people don’t come near me because I’m not lovable”).

You also see the world through the lens of “I’m not lovable” so no matter what, even if someone is trying to show you that you are lovable, you interpret the event through the lens of “I’m not lovable” (e.g. ‘My mum works so hard and isn’t home to play with me because I’m not lovable’; rather than ‘My mum works so hard because I am lovable and she wants to give me the best life she possibly can’).

3. Emotions help keep us stuck

The event and the meaning you give the event (the story) creates emotion somewhere in your body (fear, guilt, shame, anger, hurt, sadness). Over time, because you keep subconsciously repeating and reinforcing the story, your thoughts create more emotion and your cells become physically addicted to feeling the emotion.

4. We develop coping strategies

You create coping mechanisms or strategies to deal with the incident, the best resource your 0-7 year old has at the time (shutting yourself off from others, distracting yourself with playing, pretending it isn’t happening, eating, trying to be as quiet and invisible as possible)

5. Repeat

That part of you gets stuck as a (for example) 2 year old and starts running the show whenever any remotely similar situation starts to show up.

And you keep repeating the patterns over and over again because your subconscious creature brain is in the driver’s seat and this part of you is only driven by “I’m not dead yet” and What I’ve been doing is proven to be survivable so keep doing it (and doing anything new or different is not proven to be survivable so cue fear/boredom/anxiety etc. if anything new or different is considered).


How can NLP help with this?

Kim Tiong NLP constelations

NLP finds the root cause of the unwanted pattern, then changes the meaning and story associated with the event. This helps release the emotions around the event so that you can let go of the event, and that part of you stuck in time can “grow up” and reintegrate back into who you are today.


Overview of a session

Step 1: CLARITY

We start by asking “What would you like?” in order to get anywhere in life you need to know where you are going. We get really clear on what the focus of the session is about, and you would like to create.

Step 2: IDENTIFY BLOCKS

We then identity the outdated patterning that is getting in your way and preventing you from having what you would like.

Step 3: ALIGNMENT

We release the outdated patterning and get you more in alignment with the experience of life you would like to have.


Logistics

Length of session: Each session is 90 – 120 minutes long.

Location: Sessions are held online via Zoom

Investment: Sessions are $330 per session

Ready to take the next step?

Some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Question: How is NLP different to therapy (e.g. psychology, counselling)

Answer:

Rather than keeping you talking around and around what you are experiencing today, NLP goes straight to the root cause of the event.

NLP has an appreciation that the person you are today, is not the version of you that created the originating event.

And so talking consciously to the person you are today is not helpful when trying to resolve the stuck unwanted pattern.

Because many originating events can be emotionally distressing, when continuously talking about the event or issue, many people have the experience of being re-traumatised by the event, without actually resolving anything.

NLP works to release and resolve the event from the root cause, all in one session, rather than having to come back session after session after session.

Question: I’ve heard some negative things about NLP. Is this true?

Answer:

As with any other modality, there are many different NLP practitioners. It is ultimately about finding the practitioner that is a good fit for you.

Many people, particularly in the “early” NLP days in Australia, learned NLP to try to increase sales for their business. This is a completely different frame, basis and intention of NLP.

Having studied NLP in both Australia and USA, I found a marked difference.

I don’t treat my clients as a computer with broken programming that needs to be removed, and new programming put in.

Instead, I see my clients as a whole person – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, family systemically, with different parts and identities wanting different things. The role of NLP is to align these different parts and identities as best we can.

The NLP I studied in USA uses the frames of complete appreciation for the unwanted patterns because those interpretations and coping mechanisms were the best option available to your younger self at that point in your life.

It also appreciates that your patterns are often underpinned by family systemic love and loyalty to your parents and others in your family.

Again, it is about finding the right practitioner for you – one you feel safe and comfortable being completely honest with without feeling judged, and without feeling like you need to manage your practitioner’s emotional state/what is comfortable for them, so that you can get the biggest change and transformation available for you.

Question: I feel like I have worked through the same issues over and over again. How do I know this will work for me?

Answer:

In short, you don’t. No one can tell you how much change you will get, or rather how much change you will allow yourself to let in and sustain.

However, I can and often do also incorporate family love and loyalty in my NLP sessions which is how a lot of things get really stuck. And if need be, you can also explore whether a full Family Constellation may be more appropriate, rather than a straight NLP session (click here to find out more about Family Constellations).

Question: I’m still not sure/I have more questions…

Answer:

Get in contact to book a free 30 minute clarity call and we can discuss your individual situation and whether either NLP or Family Constellations is appropriate for you.

Ready to take the next step and create your life on your own terms?

Click the button below to book your NLP session