Constellations FAQs

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Constellation

Frequently Asked Questions

~Q: What can you use a Family Constellation for? Why might I be interested in a Constellation?~

A: Family Constellations are for people who have patterns in their life that no matter what they do remain stuck or blocked.

These patterns can be in any area, including:

  • Business/Job/Career
  • Money
  • Relationships (clients, friends, family, romantic partners)
  • Health
  • Love life
  • General happiness and wellbeing
  • Self love and ability to feel valuable and worthy
  • Depression, anxiety

And lots more

~Q: Who created Family Constellations? Where did it come from?~

A: Family Constellations was created by Bert Hellinger, a German psychoanalyst based on his 50+ years’ experience working with families and observing family dynamics.

Hellinger was a missionary and spent some time with the Zulu in South Africa who showed him the power of ancestry and freeing people from ancestral binds. It was here he observed people sitting in circles and “communing with the ancestors” as a way of freeing people from ancestral binds and helping with current day problems.

Bert’s work is informed by his 50+ years practical experience with clients and his studies in:

  • Psychoanalysis
  • Gestalt therapy,
  • Transactional analysis
  • Primal therapy
  • Hypnotherapy
  • NLP
  • Family therapies with Ruth McCledon and Leslie Kadis
  • Hellinger’s work with Milton Erickson
  • Hellinger’s 16 years as a missionary with the South African Zulu
  • 1980s family systems work of Virginia Satir

~Q: What happens in a constellation? ~

A constellation is done for one specific client but facilitated using a group of unrelated people as representatives for the client’s family members.

The client comes with a challenge they would like a resolution to.

A group of people come together to hold space and if willing, volunteer to “represent” different roles within the family system.

This helps reveal the subconscious and often hidden dynamics –things that have been pushed under the carpet and “forgotten” about. When the family tries to “forget about” someone or something that has happened (e.g. someone is cast out, aborted, commits suicide, an unacknowledged tragedy occurs…), it creates imbalances within the system that subconsciously move through generations.

By revealing these hidden dynamics and openly acknowledging what needs to be acknowledged, without any attachment of blame or shame or good/bad/right/wrong, the imbalances and entanglements can be resolved, enabling the client to be let go of having to carry the family pain and suffering, and have the opportunity to experience profound changes in their life.

Change is open and available to not just the client, but anyone there. Often, people who are participating as representatives, or even just sitting and observing, find they also get change in their lives.

~Q: Why do we reach for this family pain and suffering?~

When someone or something is excluded from the family system (e.g. someone is cast out, aborted, commits suicide, murdered, war trauma, an unacknowledged tragedy occurs…), this causes imbalances and entanglements that later generations try to fix and heal.

When we are very young, we see our parents in pain and reach for their pain, to try to “rescue” them and others who have come before us.

In reaching for the pain, we try to help our families in one of three ways:

1. Loving the pain into submission;

2. Taking on the pain so that others (our mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers etc.) don’t have to;

3. As our last resort we say, “If it was like this for you [mother/father/grandmother/great-grandfather], I won’t have it any better than you, I promise”.

Then we often find ourselves repeating the same patterns as our mothers/fathers/grandparents… and often people from earlier generations we know nothing about.

~Q: How might you get change when it’s not your constellation?~

A: Change is not guaranteed, however is open and available to not just the client, but anyone there. Often, people who are participating as representatives, or even just sitting and observing, find they also get change in their lives following a constellation.

This is based on “sympathetic resonance”.

Think of two tuning forks. If your family system is tuned to the same thing, change is also available to you and your family system where things are ready to move.

I haven’t actually had a constellation done for myself, but have attended others’ sessions and feel noticeably more free and confident.. Some might call that magic! 

I haven’t actually had a constellation done for myself, but having attended a couple of Kim’s constellations, I notice how very fluid and flexible I am becoming. A nice feeling after many years of working to break down defences and rigidity.
After one of the constellations, I had a huge release of grief. It was really intense and then it was gone.
What was stunning was the shift in others. I have seen marked shifts in friends and their children who have had constellations – more self-awareness, confidence and as though a weight has been lifted from them.
The space Kim creates for this work is very non-invasive and open which makes it easier to participate freely without fearing judgement. This depth of open space is rare, I find, and delightful to experience.
I feel noticeably more free and more confident immediately after each session, as though stuff has been cleared on levels outside my conscious experience. Some might call that magic! 

-Julia Townend

~Q: Where can I find out more? What are some other references:~

Some other resources are:

  • Bert Hellinger’s book “Love’s Hidden Symmetry” (and the 80+ other books he has published!)
  • Mark Wollyn’s book “It Didn’t Start with You”
  • Rupert Sheldrake morphic fields and family systems: https://youtu.be/JydjryhEl5o

~Q: I have more questions~

A: If you have any other questions just get in touch!

Ready to take the next step?

Book your 30 minute discovery call to have all of your questions answered and see if a constellation is right for you

Some things previous Constellation clients have said:

Sooo grateful to Kim

“We have been lucky enough to have 2 family constellations with Kim for my son and daughter, both with anxiety and self-esteem issues.
My daughter attended both. My son had no inclination to attend and didn’t actually ask for a constellation. As a mother, I felt responsible and so went ahead with my son’s session anyway. 
After my son’s constellation I personally felt a tremendous weight being lifted from me, and somehow layers were peeled off me. My relationship with my son changed and I gave him more space to be himself; it was not my job to “fix” him.
My daughter also experienced shifts in her general well-being and self-esteem.
After her own constellation, the shift that happened the very next day was and still is amazing and continues to enrich all our lives. There have been many changes that on the face may seem small but put together it has been a huge transition.
My daughter is glowing from the inside out. Sooo grateful to Kim” 

– Jayne Hughes

I would highly recommend family constellations to anyone who have been struggling with finding their inner strength”

“I can still clearly recall the morning of my constellation being full of tears and emotions.
The biggest take away message for me was: “I have all the support, love and strength from my family and I am not alone”. 
I used to be someone who was really ashamed to tell anyone about any bad that happened in my life, even to close friends and family, but after my family constellation I’ve noticed I was able to start being vulnerable.
Initially it was not easy for me to open up, but by opening up and being vulnerable, I felt support, love and strength at a completely different level.
I really want to say ‘Thank you’ to Kim and I would highly recommend family constellations to anyone who is struggling with finding their inner strength.”

I haven’t actually had a constellation done for myself, but have attended others’ sessions and feel noticeably more free and confident.. Some might call that magic! 

I haven’t actually had a constellation done for myself, but having attended a couple of Kim’s constellations, I notice how very fluid and flexible I am becoming. A nice feeling after many years of working to break down defences and rigidity.
After one of the constellations, I had a huge release of grief. It was really intense and then it was gone.
What was stunning was the shift in others. I have seen marked shifts in friends and their children who have had constellations – more self-awareness, confidence and as though a weight has been lifted from them.
The space Kim creates for this work is very non-invasive and open which makes it easier to participate freely without fearing judgement. This depth of open space is rare, I find, and delightful to experience.
I feel noticeably more free and more confident immediately after each session, as though stuff has been cleared on levels outside my conscious experience. Some might call that magic! 

-Julia Townend

Ready to take the next step?

Book your 30 minute discovery call to see if a constellation is right for you